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harlequinjade:

I thought a truck was about to crash into us and I instinctively said “wHOA THERE BUCKAROO” I could have died and those would have been my last words 

snow-white-sweety:

538rqaeb98gh434398jvgi:

people who do math homework in pen are fearless

how the fuck do you remember your url

vegay:

DO PARENTS NOT REALISE YOU CAN HEAR THEM TALKING ABOUT YOU

  • Mum:

    Hey that band you like is on tv

  • Me:

    *Bashes through my door

  • Me:

    *Trips down stairs

  • Me:

    *Slips on the floor

  • Me:

    *Runs into wall

  • Me:

    *Army rolls through the kitchen

  • Me:

    *Skids around the corner

  • Me:

    *Dives onto couch

  • Me:

    Shutup or i'll fucking murder you all

dicksoclock:

oh god so earlier today my dad and i came back from grocery shopping and we were putting everything away and he pulls a box of my tampons out of the bag and turns to me and says 

“where do these go?”

and there was kind of this awkward moment of silence before i went “…my vagina”

and then he kind of just fell over and nearly cried

and was like “WHICH CUPBOARD ASDGHJ”

things that cause me a mental breakdown

  • slow internet connection
  • losing something i held a second ago
  • kids screaming for no reason
  • girls with annoying voices
  • math
  • my mom
  • arguing with stupid people